Vandy’s Losin It

So, I wake up this morning expecting to see a loss on the scale.  I have been good, really good this week.  My eating and calories in check.. and I worked out 5 days straight!!  I thought that I had not really lost due to PMS issues so far.  But today.. well I thought at least a pound would drop off.  Nope, nada … in fact I am up half a pound.  Of course my mind becomes a swirling cesspool of negative thoughts.  “What’s the point?” Why am I working so hard to see NO Results?”  “Eat whatever I want today.. since it doesn’t matter.”  Then I tell myself..( out loud too) in no uncertain terms.. Shut the Hell Up!!  Now if someone was standing outside my bathroom door.. they would surely think I have lost my mind.  And.. Maybe I have!! I need to tell certain parts of my mind to GET LOST and stay there.

So, I wander from my semi-psychotic fight with myself into the living room to drink some coffee with hubby.  He tells me he is going to Sonic to get a breakfast burrito… Would I like one??  Of course I would.. truth be told I would like to have two of them please.  Smothered in Salsa and Cheese, extra tater tots, and a surise smootie made with ice cream and some fruit.  Yeah.. that will help ease my pain.  But.. instead of answering right away.  I google the calorie/fat counts on one of those burritos.  550 cals and 40 gms of fat.  For one of them.. no tots, no smoothie.  At first I say okay.. I will take one burrito, no tots or drink.  (I deserve it, don’t I?)  But, as hubby is getting around to go get the food.. I just feel sick about my choice.  I told that negative part of myself to get lost.. but I am still listening to it.  So, I change my decision.  I scrap the burrito and eat a smart ones egg muffin from the freezer instead.  Victory.  210 calories and a couple of gms of fat… nice trade.

Now I feel so much better going into the rest of my day.. knowing that I told that negative, self defeating part of myself to hit the road.  It will back, no doubt.  Maybe even later today, hopefully I can remember how much better I feel right now.  And that pound will come off… and then it will be followed by many more if I can just keep my commitment to better choices  the voice I choose to listen to.